Security Guard and the Bathroom????

Well now isn't that just the most intriguing title????? What do a security guard and the bathroom have to do with each other???? ABSOLUTELY NOTHING!!!!!!! But I will bet it got you to wondering??????? Oh go ahead, admit it.....

Last year when I was down here there were two security guards or IGUANAS. The one was about three or four feet long and the other about two feet long. Well this year we got a ROOKIE cause he is only about 18 inches long. But I definitely feel so much safer knowing there is somebody outside keeping an eye on things???????

So now on to the bathroom part of the story. Normally bathrooms are not something you would talk about or write about but down here in the keys it is a whole different story. Most people build an outside shower and with the exception of a few days it is used year round. The shower pictures in the write up are just to show you the inside and the outside. I know that the inside shower has not been used very much in the last eleven years, and how do I know that?????? Because I built it and obviously I know the people who live here and they like myself when I am down here use the outside shower.

There are a lot of things different down here in the Keys. This is just one of them and that is the story for today. I know it is short so just take longer to look at the pictures!!!!!!!
{;-)

Headed South

I know, I know.......... The question is if I live in the South and I am headed South then where is it exactly that I could possibly go to??????? Well, since you ask and even if you did not ask I am going to tell you!!!!!!!!!!!!

Actually I headed south for a few hours and then I headed west. Well, almost West I am on the CUSP (I am not sure what that word means, but I have heard people use it so I figured I would throw it in and worry about it later). The only thing south of me is Miami and the Keys and I never go to Miami so that sorta narrows it down.

That's right folks I am back in the Keys!!!!!!! Seems like I just keep coming on back down here. Maybe it has something to do with the weather, maybe it has something to do with the people, or maybe just cause it is ALWAYS FIVE O'CLOCK SOMEWHERE!!

The weather is great, got some work down here so that will take some time, but if I work it right I should be able to get the work done and still have some fun down here???????

I have included some pictures of the place where I am staying. The water is so clear you can see to the bottom of the canal which is about fifteen to eighteen feet deep depending on the tide.

I am not sure what is going on in Keys West this week, but I am sure there is something. Last week was SECESSION WEEK!!!! Celebrating April 1983!!!!!!!!!!!!

Well, not much else to say for now. It was a nice drive and it is really great to be here!!!!!!!!!!!!!
{;-)

And so the time

has come the PIRATE said to speak of many things, ceiling wax and sailing ships, and captains and of kings. For you are in search of the MEANING OF LIFE and you now have another mission which is to find a door!!!!!!!!!!!????????

So first off I took a little LITERARY LICENSE here, so I say this only if somebody were to mention it in passing, not my passing, but I am sure something would be passing????? But I stray from the pirate and the discussion.......... and so the pirate said that even though this search began with your searching for the MEANING OF LIFE, you now have a TWO-FOLD {how about that word, always wanted to use it and still have no idea what it means, but I LIKE IT!!!!!!} search which when combined with the first half of your journey will make your search more interesting for you must find a DOOR. But for what purpose do I search for a door I questioned?? To which the pirate RETORTED {how about that word?HUH,HUH}, in a voice that had much the same sound as that of THUNDER and LIGHTNING, "for the wine cellar!!!!!!!!!", well now I was just about as confused as I got in the WALMART in Sanger {but that is another story} and so I said to the pirate in my usual meek and timid way. "What the hell are you talking about!!!!!!!!!!!!!" So the final part of the discussion finally came and he explained that a door was needed for a wine cellar on Summerland Key and that I had been "CHARGED" , not like a credit card, more like SHOCK THERAPY that I had another assignment, sort of a MISSION IMPOSSIBLE type thing, that is where the TWOFOLD part comes in, {if you are confused or lost, just go back and start over, I had to and I am writing this!!!!!!!!!!!!!}, so back to the door, it was explained to me {since some things I am a little slow on AND NO FURTHER COMMENT IS REQUIRED FROM ANY OF YOU!!!!!!} that there is a wine cellar on Cudjoe Key which is in dire need of a door, but not just any door, but a very special door!!!!! A door of dimensions and width and thickness so as to be able to stand the assault of the HIGH WINDS, HIGH WATERS, and most especially the BEATINGS ON THE DOOR OF THE DRUNKEN REVELERS SEARCHING FOR MORE RUM!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I know they don't put RUM in a wine cellar, but I would, so just "GET BY IT!!!!!!!!!!}

So now I have this "DAUNTING" {there is another fancy word, anybody out there keeping track????????} task to find the meaning of life and find "THE DOOR"!!!!!! which may be the way to find my first objective for if I open the door I may discover what I started out searching for, but if that happens, it won't happen here because then I would have nothing else to talk or write about!!!!!!!! which may or may not be a good thing!!!!!!!!!

Since I arrived where I am, I have been to the 500 Club, the WALMART at Sanger and let me tell you folks, that is a WALMARTTTTTT!!!!!!!!!!!!! You need to pack a lunch when you go there, like Ed Sullivan used to say, that is a REEEEEAAAALLYYYYYY BIGGGGGG STOOOORE!!!!!!!!!!!

I have been to a Pizza Birthday Party, and if you refer back to the first part when I told you about the battery that may die, well the battery passed on, I had a small memorial service and then dumped it in a Walmart basket and turned it in!!!!!!!!!!! It was a touching ceremony as I touched one new battery after another, but only after touching my old HUMMER battery for the last time for it is truly a SAD OCCASION when your hummer's battery goes dead!!!!!!! {back off you perverts}!!!

And so now after long discussions with the pirate and receiving my secondary assignment and since I can no longer chase the sunset due to a lack of REAL ESTATE, I will be heading toward the NORTHERN LIGHTS, I am not sure if the Northern Lights are headlights, tail lights, Christmas lights, candle lights, under-counter lights, daylights-----well you get the picture!!!!!!! But I will press on or press a head which is when I put my hand on my forehead and push back!!!!!!! I am now not where I was and not sure where I will be when you read this, but I am sure I will be some place??????
{;-)

SOMEWHERE WAY OUT THERE??????

This one comes with a PROLOGUE. I am not sure what that means, but I see it on the first page of a lot of the books I read so that is the word I will use.

When I wrote this chapter I had pictures as part of the story, unfortunately, with the changing of the times and me changing computers twice and not knowing about a ZIP STICK or FLASH DRIVE or whatever you want to call it?????? The pictures became a part of history and just a fond memory. So all you can do now is use your imagination unless someone that reads this has all the stories that I sent out saved someplace and will send me their copy of my original and then I can edit this story and include the pictures??????
Thank You
The Author
{;-)


So there I was, but now I am not because I left there and went some place else and if you are not GEOGRAPHICALLY CHALLENGED, then you should be able to figure out where I might be?????

When you start out on a trip like this, there are a few things that are for sure. You are not sure how the vehicle will run, how the weather will be, and most important of all, where you will end up and that would be mostly because of the first two parts of this sentence!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The first few days out are more like a SHAKEDOWN CRUISE, which amounts more to me SHAKING and the truck CRUISING!!!!!!! I thought I might have to replace the battery right away, but I got lucky and just had a corroded battery connection or so it looks like. I may have a battery funeral along the way and if I do I will be sure and take pictures. Since I had some free time and did not have to replace the battery I stopped by a friends house and ran into some old friends and we had our picture taken. See below

That is me, 4th from the left!!!!!!!!!!!!



Some of you UNFORTUNATE SOULS have already seen this picture and I apologize, NOT!!!!!!!!!!, I needed something to fill in here as I had a temporary hangover which is another term for WRITERS BLOCK!!!!!!!!!!!!

Well, after the fun I decided to go to the beach and sleep it off. I met some very nice people who were having a family photo done and since I ended up in the picture they were kind enough to send me a copy. SEE BELOW AGAIN




It was shortly after the photo was taken that some gentleman with badges and guns showed up asked me {very nicely I might add} to please remove myself and any clothing I might still have with me.

And so I bid a fond farewell to the FOUR HORSEMAN and the FAMILY FOURSOME and explained to them that I was on a journey to discover the MEANING OF LIFE. They all wished me well and with great APPREHENSION, TREPIDATION, AND ANTICIPATION (how is that for some big words??????) I don't even know what they mean, but they sure sound good!!!!!!! Are you impressed HUH, HUH??????? and so I am off to continue my search,

BUT I'LL BE BACKKKKKKK!!!!!!!!!
{;-)

I am OUTTA here and

out there somewhere (where I have been all of my adult life), but some how using me and ADULT in the same sentence just does not seem to work??????? searching for the meaning of life!!!!!!!!!!!!!! maybe not the meaning of life, could be I am just looking for a free meal???? but I figured the "MEANING OF LIFE" sounded more philosophical (spell check took care of that one and I have no idea what it means!!!!!!) Well, it has been LO or maybe high, or maybe that was me GETTING HIGH, could I be reverting back to the TIMOTHY LEARY-JIMI HENDRIX DAYS?????? depending on how you look at it these many years since there has been a road trip. So the time has come to HOOK UP MY HUMMER, (EASY THERE YOU PERVERTS!!!!!!) throw the tools, sleeping bag and all my other worldly belongings in the back of the truck and head off into the sunrise!!!!!!!!!! I know it should be the sunset, but I like it this way!!!!! would that be considered a FREUDIAN SLIP??????

I will be heading out in a general westerly direction since I live by the Atlantic Ocean that would seem to be the intelligent thing to do. That statement requires no answers from anyone!!!! it was more intended for those of you who are GEOGRAPHICALLY CHALLENGED or BLOND or for a few of you being afflicted (how about that word??????) by both of those abnormalities. Wow, another big word of more than one syllable). Don't stop me now I am on a roll!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I will be leaving sometime between now and then and for those of you unfortunate souls that want to continue receiving these letters, writings, missiles, not sure if they are guided or misguided??????? or whatever term you wish to name these babblings from a misguided, lost or wandering or wondering soul, this is a multiple choice question.

Your instructions are to just hit reply and say yes or no in the subject line. I will not stop writing if you say no. You will just not know what I wrote nor will you know just how far off the HIGH DIVE I DOVE INTO THE SHALLOW END!!!!!!!!!!

This is your one and only warning. If I do not hear from you then I will take that as a NO and you will be deleted!!!! How does that make you feel??????? If you have never been deleted it is very DEPRESSING..... I spent years in therapy just getting over it and I still suffer from recurring DELETION DEPRESSIONS, and they usually show up at the most inopportune moments!!!!!!! but I strive to struggle or is it struggle to strive or maybe I just BLUNDER through with absolutely no idea what is going on????

If you say no, be reminded how sensitive I am and how easily I get depressed!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! But be warned that if you say yes, you will hear from me again because "I'll be back"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and at some point you might even get pictures??????????????
{;-()



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I'm Back or AM I???????

OK, all you lucky people or maybe not so lucky????? If you are reading this then you all really need to set your sights a little higher....... because if you ARE reading this then it is either really cold where you are or you are like me and have no life except to write this stuff?? Fortunately for me there are no other living people here?????? and where is here you ask, well here is where I am. I am just not sure where that is all the time.

I try to keep a bottle of some sort around for medicinal purposes only of course and just in case I find a message in the bottle????????

Sometimes I take a trip and go someplace, sometimes I take medication in varying amounts depending on how far I want to go with out leaving as it is much more convenient that way, and other times I take a trip and never leave the farm?????

This may have something to do with the LONG ARMED JACKET WITH THE WRAP AROUND SLEEVES that the people in the white coats keep handy just for me. I really think that the tranquilizer gun may be a bit over kill. Well for what ever reason and there can be no reason for much of what I do, I have decided to start putting out more stories.

These stories will be from another time as it is to D#@N COLD to be out there wandering/wondering what I would be doing out wandering around in this kind of weather.

So starting tomorrow I will start making you pay the price for knowing how to get to this blog.

Try not to snore to loudly and if you feel that comments are necessary you all have my email address, but I only accept nice things as you all know how sensitive I am!!!!!!{;-)