And so the time

has come the PIRATE said to speak of many things, ceiling wax and sailing ships, and captains and of kings. For you are in search of the MEANING OF LIFE and you now have another mission which is to find a door!!!!!!!!!!!????????

So first off I took a little LITERARY LICENSE here, so I say this only if somebody were to mention it in passing, not my passing, but I am sure something would be passing????? But I stray from the pirate and the discussion.......... and so the pirate said that even though this search began with your searching for the MEANING OF LIFE, you now have a TWO-FOLD {how about that word, always wanted to use it and still have no idea what it means, but I LIKE IT!!!!!!} search which when combined with the first half of your journey will make your search more interesting for you must find a DOOR. But for what purpose do I search for a door I questioned?? To which the pirate RETORTED {how about that word?HUH,HUH}, in a voice that had much the same sound as that of THUNDER and LIGHTNING, "for the wine cellar!!!!!!!!!", well now I was just about as confused as I got in the WALMART in Sanger {but that is another story} and so I said to the pirate in my usual meek and timid way. "What the hell are you talking about!!!!!!!!!!!!!" So the final part of the discussion finally came and he explained that a door was needed for a wine cellar on Summerland Key and that I had been "CHARGED" , not like a credit card, more like SHOCK THERAPY that I had another assignment, sort of a MISSION IMPOSSIBLE type thing, that is where the TWOFOLD part comes in, {if you are confused or lost, just go back and start over, I had to and I am writing this!!!!!!!!!!!!!}, so back to the door, it was explained to me {since some things I am a little slow on AND NO FURTHER COMMENT IS REQUIRED FROM ANY OF YOU!!!!!!} that there is a wine cellar on Cudjoe Key which is in dire need of a door, but not just any door, but a very special door!!!!! A door of dimensions and width and thickness so as to be able to stand the assault of the HIGH WINDS, HIGH WATERS, and most especially the BEATINGS ON THE DOOR OF THE DRUNKEN REVELERS SEARCHING FOR MORE RUM!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I know they don't put RUM in a wine cellar, but I would, so just "GET BY IT!!!!!!!!!!}

So now I have this "DAUNTING" {there is another fancy word, anybody out there keeping track????????} task to find the meaning of life and find "THE DOOR"!!!!!! which may be the way to find my first objective for if I open the door I may discover what I started out searching for, but if that happens, it won't happen here because then I would have nothing else to talk or write about!!!!!!!! which may or may not be a good thing!!!!!!!!!

Since I arrived where I am, I have been to the 500 Club, the WALMART at Sanger and let me tell you folks, that is a WALMARTTTTTT!!!!!!!!!!!!! You need to pack a lunch when you go there, like Ed Sullivan used to say, that is a REEEEEAAAALLYYYYYY BIGGGGGG STOOOORE!!!!!!!!!!!

I have been to a Pizza Birthday Party, and if you refer back to the first part when I told you about the battery that may die, well the battery passed on, I had a small memorial service and then dumped it in a Walmart basket and turned it in!!!!!!!!!!! It was a touching ceremony as I touched one new battery after another, but only after touching my old HUMMER battery for the last time for it is truly a SAD OCCASION when your hummer's battery goes dead!!!!!!! {back off you perverts}!!!

And so now after long discussions with the pirate and receiving my secondary assignment and since I can no longer chase the sunset due to a lack of REAL ESTATE, I will be heading toward the NORTHERN LIGHTS, I am not sure if the Northern Lights are headlights, tail lights, Christmas lights, candle lights, under-counter lights, daylights-----well you get the picture!!!!!!! But I will press on or press a head which is when I put my hand on my forehead and push back!!!!!!! I am now not where I was and not sure where I will be when you read this, but I am sure I will be some place??????
{;-)

SOMEWHERE WAY OUT THERE??????

This one comes with a PROLOGUE. I am not sure what that means, but I see it on the first page of a lot of the books I read so that is the word I will use.

When I wrote this chapter I had pictures as part of the story, unfortunately, with the changing of the times and me changing computers twice and not knowing about a ZIP STICK or FLASH DRIVE or whatever you want to call it?????? The pictures became a part of history and just a fond memory. So all you can do now is use your imagination unless someone that reads this has all the stories that I sent out saved someplace and will send me their copy of my original and then I can edit this story and include the pictures??????
Thank You
The Author
{;-)


So there I was, but now I am not because I left there and went some place else and if you are not GEOGRAPHICALLY CHALLENGED, then you should be able to figure out where I might be?????

When you start out on a trip like this, there are a few things that are for sure. You are not sure how the vehicle will run, how the weather will be, and most important of all, where you will end up and that would be mostly because of the first two parts of this sentence!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The first few days out are more like a SHAKEDOWN CRUISE, which amounts more to me SHAKING and the truck CRUISING!!!!!!! I thought I might have to replace the battery right away, but I got lucky and just had a corroded battery connection or so it looks like. I may have a battery funeral along the way and if I do I will be sure and take pictures. Since I had some free time and did not have to replace the battery I stopped by a friends house and ran into some old friends and we had our picture taken. See below

That is me, 4th from the left!!!!!!!!!!!!



Some of you UNFORTUNATE SOULS have already seen this picture and I apologize, NOT!!!!!!!!!!, I needed something to fill in here as I had a temporary hangover which is another term for WRITERS BLOCK!!!!!!!!!!!!

Well, after the fun I decided to go to the beach and sleep it off. I met some very nice people who were having a family photo done and since I ended up in the picture they were kind enough to send me a copy. SEE BELOW AGAIN




It was shortly after the photo was taken that some gentleman with badges and guns showed up asked me {very nicely I might add} to please remove myself and any clothing I might still have with me.

And so I bid a fond farewell to the FOUR HORSEMAN and the FAMILY FOURSOME and explained to them that I was on a journey to discover the MEANING OF LIFE. They all wished me well and with great APPREHENSION, TREPIDATION, AND ANTICIPATION (how is that for some big words??????) I don't even know what they mean, but they sure sound good!!!!!!! Are you impressed HUH, HUH??????? and so I am off to continue my search,

BUT I'LL BE BACKKKKKKK!!!!!!!!!
{;-)

I am OUTTA here and

out there somewhere (where I have been all of my adult life), but some how using me and ADULT in the same sentence just does not seem to work??????? searching for the meaning of life!!!!!!!!!!!!!! maybe not the meaning of life, could be I am just looking for a free meal???? but I figured the "MEANING OF LIFE" sounded more philosophical (spell check took care of that one and I have no idea what it means!!!!!!) Well, it has been LO or maybe high, or maybe that was me GETTING HIGH, could I be reverting back to the TIMOTHY LEARY-JIMI HENDRIX DAYS?????? depending on how you look at it these many years since there has been a road trip. So the time has come to HOOK UP MY HUMMER, (EASY THERE YOU PERVERTS!!!!!!) throw the tools, sleeping bag and all my other worldly belongings in the back of the truck and head off into the sunrise!!!!!!!!!! I know it should be the sunset, but I like it this way!!!!! would that be considered a FREUDIAN SLIP??????

I will be heading out in a general westerly direction since I live by the Atlantic Ocean that would seem to be the intelligent thing to do. That statement requires no answers from anyone!!!! it was more intended for those of you who are GEOGRAPHICALLY CHALLENGED or BLOND or for a few of you being afflicted (how about that word??????) by both of those abnormalities. Wow, another big word of more than one syllable). Don't stop me now I am on a roll!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I will be leaving sometime between now and then and for those of you unfortunate souls that want to continue receiving these letters, writings, missiles, not sure if they are guided or misguided??????? or whatever term you wish to name these babblings from a misguided, lost or wandering or wondering soul, this is a multiple choice question.

Your instructions are to just hit reply and say yes or no in the subject line. I will not stop writing if you say no. You will just not know what I wrote nor will you know just how far off the HIGH DIVE I DOVE INTO THE SHALLOW END!!!!!!!!!!

This is your one and only warning. If I do not hear from you then I will take that as a NO and you will be deleted!!!! How does that make you feel??????? If you have never been deleted it is very DEPRESSING..... I spent years in therapy just getting over it and I still suffer from recurring DELETION DEPRESSIONS, and they usually show up at the most inopportune moments!!!!!!! but I strive to struggle or is it struggle to strive or maybe I just BLUNDER through with absolutely no idea what is going on????

If you say no, be reminded how sensitive I am and how easily I get depressed!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! But be warned that if you say yes, you will hear from me again because "I'll be back"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and at some point you might even get pictures??????????????
{;-()



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I'm Back or AM I???????

OK, all you lucky people or maybe not so lucky????? If you are reading this then you all really need to set your sights a little higher....... because if you ARE reading this then it is either really cold where you are or you are like me and have no life except to write this stuff?? Fortunately for me there are no other living people here?????? and where is here you ask, well here is where I am. I am just not sure where that is all the time.

I try to keep a bottle of some sort around for medicinal purposes only of course and just in case I find a message in the bottle????????

Sometimes I take a trip and go someplace, sometimes I take medication in varying amounts depending on how far I want to go with out leaving as it is much more convenient that way, and other times I take a trip and never leave the farm?????

This may have something to do with the LONG ARMED JACKET WITH THE WRAP AROUND SLEEVES that the people in the white coats keep handy just for me. I really think that the tranquilizer gun may be a bit over kill. Well for what ever reason and there can be no reason for much of what I do, I have decided to start putting out more stories.

These stories will be from another time as it is to D#@N COLD to be out there wandering/wondering what I would be doing out wandering around in this kind of weather.

So starting tomorrow I will start making you pay the price for knowing how to get to this blog.

Try not to snore to loudly and if you feel that comments are necessary you all have my email address, but I only accept nice things as you all know how sensitive I am!!!!!!{;-)

The End or is it?????????????

So here I am where I was when I started this trip sometime back in July. I have finally arrived at my final destination for this trip which was the beginning.

I have traveled several thousand miles, 8,861 miles according to the speedometer. Miss Mabel now has 223,417 miles on her and she is just like a Timex Watch. Takes a lickin and keeps on tickin!!!!!! oh and Blue Boy is fine too.................

I have been through or stopped in 21 states, bought untold gallons of gas (unfortunately I did not keep a record this time) and had for the most part a really good time.

The states that I was in at one time or another are as follows: Florida, Georgia, Tennessee, Kentucky, Indiana, Illinois, Missouri, Iowa, Nebraska, Wyoming, Utah, Nevada, California (actually was in and out of California twice), Oregon, Washington, Arizona, New Mexico, Texas, Louisiana, Mississippi, Alabama and finally back to Florida.

I have been gone almost 5 months, met a lot of people, hopefully made some new friends. I did not get to see every body I wanted to see, but there is always NEXT TIME??????? Some I will remember, some I wish I could remember, and some, WELL, NEVER MIND.....................

I found several bottles, unfortunately no messages, probably that was due to the fact that I had to consume the contents to see if there was a message in there.

The good news is that this time I did not have to hurry home for the BIG WIND season as the only BIG WINDS that happened went some where else or I just drove away from them.

I have already said that next year I am going to take a break and maybe just go to the keys. But some I have talked to said the POOL has already started as to when I will leave and where I will go, but as I said, for me it is time to take a break.

I have attached some pictures of my little shack so you know where I started and where I ended up at.

From time to time I will post other stories from times past just because it is fun to put em out there.

But for now hope you all have or had {depending on when or if you read this??????}a Happy Thanksgiving.

I do believe I stumbled on to the PHILOSOPHY OF LIFE or at least one that sounds good. I just want to live happily ever after every now and then.

HOW IS THAT FOR A WAY TO END IT???????????? FOR RIGHT NOW...... and by the way the PENGUIN is the security guard.

Heart Attack Grill...........

So what you ask is the Heart Attack Grill and even if you don't ask I am going to tell you anyway since I am the one doing the writing. Why do I always have to explain this???????

Anyway on to the GRILL. I had heard about this place while I was in Florida and decided that I had to see it when I got to Arizona. This place should be considered the home of the CHOLESTEROL OVERDOSE!!!!!!!

It is a combination of HOOTERS and the EMERGENCY ROOM at a hospital. The food has to be the greasiest in the world and I can say that with some authority since I have been out there to most of the world and this place truly ranks up there as a GREASY SPOON!!!!

I have included the link for the curious, but I was surprised the day I went as there were approximately 12 RED HATS in there (AND IF YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT A RED HAT IS, TRY GOOGLE). The only thing I would recommend is that if the occasion ever arises and you are able to go, make sure you have taken a DOUBLE DOSE of your cholesterol medication!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! There are only 5 items on the menu. French Fries {ALL YOU CAN EAT} fried in lard!!!!!!! and your choice of one of 4 hamburgers. The SINGLE BYPASS, DOUBLE BYPASS, TRIPLE BYPASS, or QUADRUPLE BYPASS--8000 calories!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and I ain't makin this up!!!!!! The food goes down really easy, actually it slides down because of the grease!!!!!!!!!!!!! One of the pictures is of a TRIPLE BYPASS.

Here is the link.

http://www.heartattackgrill.com/

So if you are ever in Chandler, Arizona just stop on by!!!!!!!!!!!
Unfortunately I had no time to look for messages from a bottle as I was SLIPPIN AND A SLIDIN OUT THE DOOR!!!!!!!!
{:-)

Tortilla Flats, and the

So once more into the DANGER ZONE I go. For I am here and that is where I have been, but now it is time to go find me again. By the time you read this you will not know where I am and I will have no idea where I am. But the next time you hear from me I will be where I was and that is where this whole thing started some months back. But that will be a story for another time since I am not there yet I can only write about the present since I have no idea when I will be there, but I know where I have been and that is what this is all about is telling where I have been.

I have been busy trying to find a bottle with a message in it. I found plenty of bottle and even a few cans, but no messages and I am not sure about the PHILOSOPHY OF LIFE, but I may have an idea about that by the time I get to where I am going. I am not sure how long it will take to get to where I am going since I have a few stops along the way. But I am sure that some where along the way I will find me.

So it was off to Tortilla Flats for a day of picture taking, doing touristy stuff and just generally relaxing. Every time I am out this way I always go to Tortilla Flats. It is about 25 miles from where I stay and it is a fun drive through the mountains and on the way you go by Canyon Lake.

The restaurant has great food and the bar has saddles for bar stools and unfortunately no stirrups so it is not wise to consume COPIOUS, {now that is a word!!!!!} amounts of alcoholic beverages for a couple of reasons. First, no stirrups means no way to hang on and second there are a whole lot of curves and two single lane bridges on the way home!!!!!!!!!!!! Therefore unless you come equipped with parachutes, it is recommended that alcohol be consumed in small amounts so that you do not attempt to straighten the road out!!!!!!!

This next little tidbit comes under the heading of INTERESTING, BUT USELESS INFORMATION. If you have to go to the men's room, which some of you won't for obvious reasons, just go see John Wayne!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I have taken the liberty or literary license or drivers license or fishing license or whatever license to include some information about Tortilla Flats.

Tortilla Flat is a small unincorporated community in far eastern Maricopa County, Arizona, United States. It is located in the central part of the state, northeast of Apache Junction. It is the last surviving stagecoach stop along the Apache Trail. According to the Gross Management Department of Arizona's main U.S. Post Office in Phoenix, Tortilla Flat is presumed to be Arizona's smallest official "community" having a U.S. Post Office and voter's precinct. The town has a population of 6. Tortilla Flat can be reached by vehicles on State Route 88, via Apache Junction.

Originally a camping ground for the prospectors who searched for gold in the Superstition Mountains in the mid to late 1800s, Tortilla Flat was later a freight camp for the construction of Theodore Roosevelt Dam. From this time (1904) on, Tortilla Flat has had a small (100 people) but continuous population. A flood in 1942 badly damaged the town, resulting in many residents moving away. Today Tortilla Flat is made up primarily of a small store and restaurant, which were constructed in the late 1980s after a fire consumed the existing store and restaurant on the same site. Several hiking trails into the Superstition Mountains begin near Tortilla Flat.

Based on available records Tortilla Flat got its start because of the road construction to Roosevelt Dam in 1904. There was a need for a stagecoach stop for freight haulers on their way to the construction site at Roosevelt Dam and Tortilla Flat served that purpose. Shortly following the construction of the road, Roosevelt Dam became a big tourist attraction. At that point Tortilla Flat was a stage stop for tourists and mail carriers through the 1930s.

The name "Tortilla Flat" originated from the cowboys who used to drive cattle from Globe to Phoenix. While in Phoenix, rancher Mr. Cline and his fellow cowboys celebrated their sale, and, having a little too much to drink, forgot to get supplies while they were in town. They ended up with only flour to make tortillas when they camped at the flat and were stranded.

Forest Service records show Tonto National Forest being established in 1905 as kind of a "package deal" with the Salt River Reclamation Project. The Forest Service was needed to manage the land and protect watershed for the dams because cattle grazing had denuded the land. The freight camp at Tortilla Flat, as well as the other camps along the road to the dam, were, therefore, on U.S. Forest Service land. Folks who decided to make Tortilla Flat their permanent residence kept up the lease on the land in later years whenever it came due.

Well, now it is on to the HEART ATTACK GRILL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
{:-)