Where I was and what happened along the way???

Well greetings, salutations, felicitations, solicitations,elucidations, hallucinations, and any other ATIONS you want to throw in there!!!!!

Since last I wrote I have a had a couple of HICCUPS, actually it was more like a couple of MAJOR AH S@#TS!!!!!!!!! but I have managed to survive the latest trials and tribulations, see even more ATIONS there!!!!

So onward or shall I say PRESS AHEAD which you do by taking your left hand or your right hand (choice of hands is optional)and pushing it against your forehead so now you will know in the future when I say PRESS AHEAD what to do...

Whence (now that is a word) last I wrote I was in Missouri I think??? Well actually I try not to think as it creates great amounts of pain in my CEREBRAL AREA, whoa!!
that is actually another word for the brain. I never did understand why everybody just doesn't say brain, but since I am at least trying to act intelligent I will try and gain the most by using my FUNK & WAGNALL to it's greatest advantage??? Not exactly sure why I just wrote all that, but since I did I AM NOT REMOVING IT!!!

So finally I am to the point where something I write may or may not make any sense, but I will put pen to paper, well not really since I am using a computer, but METAPHORICALLY SPEAKING and since I do not speak metaphor I will hope somebody else does???????

So when I wrote I was in Missouri at the last rest stop in Missouri on I-29. When I left the next morning I was going north on I-29, at this point you best be getting out the atlas or map cause things are going to get going!!!!!!

So here it all is. North on I-29 into Iowa and then on to IA-2 which goes into Nebraska and becomes NE-2 and on to Lincoln, Ne. and a short bit of I-70 which takes you to I-80. The Old Route 66 which ran from Chicago, Ill. to Santa Monica, Ca. was called the MOTHER ROAD because it was the first INTERSTATE HIGHWAY. Well I-80 should be called the BORING ROAD from Nebraska west do to the fact that it is the most boring straight line drive in the country!!! and I have been on almost all the east to west interstates or west to east to west since it is the same road unless you happen to go north or south??? So back to I-80 from Nebraska to Wyoming and at this point I will end this story and continue on the next one so that things do not get to boring!!!!! But I am in Wyoming when the next portion begins!!!!!

Isn't this fun????
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Will it never end?? or why am I still in Missouri???

GOOOOOOOOD MORNING or afternoon or whatevah!!!! It is morning where I am right now, but soon that will not be as I will be some place else when you read this and since I have no idea what time zone I will be in I cannot tell you if it will be morning noon or night?????? I got into where I am now about eleven my time and it was COLD!!!!!! and I realize that cold is a relative term, howevah I am not related to cold so therefore I prefer to have nothing to do with it!!!! but since I have no choice I will suffer with it, but NOT IN SILENCE!!!!!!
OK, enough about me, but then why can't it be about me since I am here and you are there?????? and you are probably warmer than I am, but that is good for one day you will be cold and then???????????

Now on to where I was and where I am. If you can read a map and are not GEOGRAPHICALLY CHALLENGED you should be able to figure out where I sent this from??????? If not then call somebody or if you are not interested then just hit ESCAPE or DELETE and that should solve the problem!!!!!!!!!!! but remember how sensitive I am...................

When last I sent you coordinates (NEAT WORD, HUH?) I don't know what it means, but I looked it up in my FUNK & WAGNALL (easy there you perverts!!!!) and it listed this word as one I can use!!!!!!

So here we go........I was on I-55 heading north which took me to I-270 which took me to I-70 which took me US 63 which took me to US-36 (I will give you a hint just in case somebody might be confused??) I got off US-36 in St. Joseph, Missouri and went north on I-29 and if you have an atlas or something that shows the rest areas then the only set of blue picnic tables on I-29 in Missouri is where this is from.

Just a couple of footnotes. I cannot remember what the starting mileage was, but I know I put it in the first or second installments of this FIASCO!!!!!!! but the mileage as I am sitting here is 235,854 and I am going to be forced to stop when I get fuel the next time and restock the coffee as I having the last of what I made in Ringgold, Ga. also gas seems to be remaining constant which is to say EXPENSIVE!!!!!!! but the most I have paid so far was $3.82 a gallon.......

So to all my adoring fans out there--- GOODNIGHT MRS. CALABASH, WHEREVER YOU ARE AND WHOOP, WHOOP I AM OFF INTO THE?????????? You may refer to the attached picture at this point!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Just a little update

Well, here I am in the middle of nowhere, but I thought I would give everybody an update!!!!! and even if you don't want an update you are going to get one. Try and remember that this is not required reading so if you are getting bored then just hit the delete or sign off button!!!!!!! I won't know so you won't hurt my feelings!!!!!!! but try and remember how sensitive I am about REJECTION!!! and this is just a thrill and a half trying to type wit my laptop up against the steering wheel, but like that famous guy said "I will GIT-R-DUN!!!!!"

So on to the good stuff or maybe not the good stuff, but at least some stuff, or it might be good stuff. How would I know???? I just write this stuff!!!!!! Thankfully I do not have to read it!!!!!!!

So here it is folks in all it's grandeur (how's that for a word??) anyway greetings from New Madrid, Missouri....... I am on I-55. Left Ringgold last night because of the weather coming in there and I knew I was driving into it so I got to a rest area on I-24 and spent the night there listening to the rain beat down on the roof of my topper!!!!!!! Actually I did not hear it as I slept right through it!! and my hearing is not that good anyway!!!!!!

So here is where I have been road wise since leaving Ringgold, Ga. Hiway 151/Old Alabama Hiway to I-75 to I-24 to Nashville to I-40 to Jackson, TN. to 412 to Dyersburg, Tn. to I-155 across the Mississippi into Missouri and then on I-55 which is where this is coming to you from!!!!!!!

Just as footnote, the Mississippi River is pretty much every where around here due to the large amount of rainfall. I am not exactly sure where the banks are as all the fields are flooded and the big field sprinklers tires are all under water!!!!!!! I am not sure what they grow here, but I am betting this crop should be rice???

Until the next time, that's all folks!!!!!!!!!!
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With a cloud of dust!!!!!!

So here I am or maybe there I was for who is to really know and say whether I was ever really here at all or was that just a figment of my imagination or maybe we were all in a different time and space waiting for the planets to arrive or align or just do a FLY BY????? I suppose we will never really know for sure.... but one thing is for sure and that is that no matter where I was I am not there now for I am some place else and even I don't know where I will be when you read this???????

Well where ever I was when I was there???? It was a truly interesting time. I met some new people. Had a good time with my oldest son and his family. Did a lot of fix em up stuff and even managed to drink some wine, margaritas, and even a little beer!!!!!!! Oh and before I forget I even got introduced to a TORNADO!! I guess they don't name tornadoes like they do hurricanes, they are just remembered by the month and the year so I suppose April 2011 in Ringgold, Ga. is the way this one will be remembered??? I know I will not forget it!!!!!!!

Enough of this foolishness!!!!! The fact is I am no longer here and really have no idea where I am right now???? Just trying to get through the weather to the next stop where ever that may be????

The fix em up stuff that I did I will not list since I am sure whom ever is reading this is probably very close to being bored almost to tears??

So I will add pictures for you to look at and if you so desire, please feel free to OOOOH and AHHHHH.

Picture #1 is the house in Ringgold, Ga.
Picture #2 is Grandson #1--Carson
Picture #3 is Grandson #2--Jackson
Picture #4 is my Buddy-----LUCY
Picture #5 is the extended family on my daughter-in-laws side at Easter Supper

And so with a cloud of dust and A WHOOP WHOOP, MISS MABEL, Blue Boy, and I are off in search of??????

Along came a TORNADO!!!!!!

When I leave on one of these road trips I expect a little excitement and maybe even a problem or two along the way..... But a tornado is just a little more than I bargained for!!!!!

So there I was outside doing some work and I get a phone call from my son and he asks if "everything is all right" to which I replied "everything is fine" and then I said what is the problem and he said that a tornado had just landed by his plant and they lost power. Well from there things only got worse. He came home to work since we still had power. We then decided to clean the gutters out that day (at this point you are allowed to say that I am not the SHARPEST KNIFE IN THE DRAWER!!!! so we got out the 24 foot extension ladder and up I went.

Well, wanna guess what happened after that, well even if you don't I am going to tell you..... Yup the wind started picking up and there I am hanging on to the house with one arm and trying to use the hose to flush the gutters with the other arm which trust me ain't the easiest thing to do on a good day, but with gusts up to 40mph it does make things just a little more tense!!!! After a lot of hanging on and more than a little bit of language that cannot be written into this story the gutters were finally clean!!!!!! And then the real excitement came along!!!!! Another tornado hit up in Tennessee which is only about 10 miles from where I am. That story will follow this one..

The time of day was about 8:30PM when it really broke loose. We are all sitting there watching the local station which has preempted all the programming for this WEATHER EVENT!!!!

So there we are when we loose power and you (WELL NOT REALLY YOU) but use your imagination. Just imagine being in a tunnel and your hear a locomotive coming at you!!!!!! Yes folks what they say about these monsters is for real!!!!! Just give me a good old fashioned hurricane any day of the week!!!!!! at least you know where it is and what the wind speed is.. One of the last things we saw on the TV before losing power was 100mph winds in Athens, TN.

So the next morning we get up after finally going to bed some time around midnight when it calmed down... Schools have been cancelled, my daughter-in-law cannot get to work, my son finally decides to try and get to work and has to go all the back roads as the entrances and exits to Ringgold, Ga. are closed!!!! The biggest tornado of them all had a DIRECT HIT on Ringgold, Ga. and quite literally pretty much wiped out the town!!!! As of April 30 which is the day I am writing this we are still not able to get on I-75 and are still using the back roads to get around. I am trying to figure out when I will be able to leave and head west which at this time looks like about Tuesday evening May 3rd or Wednesday morning May 4th??

The attached pictures really do not tell the story here, but that is all there is. The statistics at this point in time for Ringgold are that the tornado hit on April 27th and was a category F-4 with winds of 190 mph!!!!!!!

Milage, a haircut and my air conditioning!!!!!!!

The trip started out quite uneventful which to my way of thinking and usually I do not think clearly even when I try to think clearly but clearly that is the way things are supposed to be done with an end result clearly in mind and that is clearly what I meant!!!!!!!

So as was stated previously the trip started out just fine, I actually made it to Deland with no problems and that made me feel even more confident about venturing further out there.......

BUTTTTTT then I left for Wildwood and things started happening. I am not sure if Miss Mabel was trying to tell me something as she is getting on up there in age and mileage but I still like her and try to take care of her... Anyway on the way to Wildwood unbeknownst (I think that is a word, anyway it sounded pretty good)the spring on my tail gate window broke, my air conditioning went out and Blue Boy started making funny noises in his rear end which I am sure some of you perverts will use your imagination to conjure up all sorts of IMMORAL and ILLICIT THOUGHTS!!!!!!! I arrived in Wildwood and stayed at a CHATEAU TO GO that was not mine, however I would give the accommodations a definite FIVE STARS!!!!I have included pictures of the chateau for your edification and perusal..... NOW HOW IS THAT FOR SOME BIG WORDS???

I am attaching some general information which you may or may not be interested in, but I will give to you anyway.

My starting mileage on this trip is 234,217, I got a haircut in wildwood and the only reason I bring this up is because I am not sure when I will get the next one????? I may end up looking like GRIZZLY ADAMS before this is over with??? I did fix the tailgate window, I did not get the air conditioning fixed,(maybe Oregon???), but for now I am up in Ringgold, Georgia doing some work and enjoying the company, but that will be the next story......
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Here we go again!!!!!!!

Well here we are "TOGETHER AGAIN"!!! I think there was a song by that name? and we really aren't together again because we never really were together again were we?? but then at my age I never really know whether I have "IT" together or is anything really together or are we all together or should we just get together??? This was so much easier back in the '60's because then everybody had it together or did we?? Ah the unattainable, unanswerable question of the day!!!!!

But I stray from my original epistle (How is that for a word), I looked it up in my FUNK & WAGNALL and it said I should use it here so I did!!!!!! So this is one of the parts where everybody OOOOOH'S and AHHHHHH'S. I will wait a minute while everybody does so!!!!!! Now don't you just feel SO MUCH BETTER????

OK, so now it is on to (what was I talking about)????? Oh yeah, it has been two years since I went in search of the meaning of life!!!!! I am not really sure why I keep looking, but I guess it gives me an excuse to go wander and wonder and proselytize about things that I know absolutely nothing about!!!!! and now that I have thoroughly confused myself about why I am even writing this other than I think (and that hurts every time I do it)!!!!!! I had movement or an epiphany or maybe it was just a headache(not sure which)and all these big words started showing up!!!!!!!

Now back to the news and what news is that you ask???? Well you don't need to ask because I am going to tell you anyway....... I am once again going on the road and seeing what has happened out there since I took a sabbatical. From time to time as before my rambling writings will appear here and you may partake or not or I may make a mistake or maybe even activate or participate and there might even be pictures. Now isn't that a scary thought??????

So I am finished with this first installment since this is only to warn you that I am once again out and about wandering, wondering, and talking to myself.
That seems to be the safest way to do things since no else will listen to me!!!!

I have no idea where I will be when you read this, but I am sure I will be somewhere out there!!!!!!!!
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