So there I was and then I wasn't. I knew I had gone some where but I wasn't sure where, so I left California and went looking for myself and when I got to where I was going I was there just like I thought I would be.
So I left where I was and headed for Bakersfield on OLD HIWAY 99, this road is so old, (how old you ask?), well I will tell you, even if you did not ask, but I know you did........( : - ), this road is so old that I believe it was here when the Spanish monks traveled this way in the 1700s, (some of you are old enough to remember back then, but I was born (JUST A FEW YEARS LATER) and I believe at that time it was called the El Camino Real, that is your is your history lesson, find out if this is true or not!!!!!!!
This road has truly not changed that much since I traveled on it as a child, this stretch of pavement ought to be a historical monument similar to the EAST/WEST Route 66, it has about as many pieces missing and just about as many potholes as the roads in Mississippi, however not to be dissuaded (now that is a word I heard once, but I am not sure how to spell, I sure hope it is in spellchecker) I persevered and much to my surprise it has been fixed and is now really a good road or at least better than it was!!!!!!!!!!!!
And so at Bakersfield I made a left turn and headed out into the MOJAVE DESERT.
Normally I try to drive the "DESERT" at night. This makes for a cooler drive and a lot less traffic, however you never really get to see what is out there, and what would be out there you ask????? Well, I will tell you even if you already know.
When you drive into the Mojave during the day on a good day, it is only "HOT, HOT, HOT", (somebody wrote a song like that), on a bad day you can get thunderstorms, wind and sandstorms, these are the really fun times, thunderstorms cause flash floods so the best thing to do is run and find a rest area. Trust me it is the safest place to be. Then we have the wind and sandstorm, this is the most fun. You are driving along and all of a sudden the wind picks up and the sand starts blowing and the next thing you know depending on which direction you are traveling, your car now has a shiny metal side and a painted side and quite possibly depending on the wind speed, you could also have some ETCHED GLASS. The only way to describe this is to tell you to take a hair dryer, turn it on high, hold it about 12 inches away from your face and take a handful of fine grain sand and throw it in front of the blowing hair dryer. WASN'T THAT FUN??????? and while you are having all this fun, remember that you should have gassed up in Bakersfield and should have a full tank. {:-)
Believe it or not there are actually things to see out in the desert, it is just a PLETHORA (whoa, how'd you like that word??????) of wonders of nature and man.
I passed a sign out in the middle of the desert that read, "THIS PROPERTY FOR SALE FOR DEVELOPMENT" now I have never been the brightest light in the closet or the sharpest knife in the drawer, but I just could not see why I would want to buy a few hundred acres of Sand, Sagebrush, Jackrabbits, Rattlesnakes, and where the wind blows hot enough that you have to figure it is the Devil's own exhaust fan from down below!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
There is a town called BORON, not to be confused with MORON out there, I am not exactly sure where, you will have to look at a map of California to see exactly where, also there is Edwards Air Force base out there, this is the alternative landing site for the shuttle, both these places give new meaning to the words, "OUT IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE," wherever nowhere is, it is definitely better than this!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Well, now we come to Boron or maybe I already went through Boron, well anyway Boron has 2 things that I could see as I was passing through, well actually 3. The first would be a BIG TRUCK STOP, you can buy gas there, but remember to bring your mortgage application with you!!! {actually the truck stop is at Four Corners, but it is close to Boron}, the second thing is a Transit Bus Boneyard, and what is that you ask???? That would be where they take the old city buses that used to carry people around cities (am I glad we got that cleared up!!!!!), anyway if you are interested in purchasing a city bus for whatever reason (and I cannot think of any) then you should be gassing up the car and heading with great haste for Boron, Calif., oh and by the way it is on your right as you are going east.
Now the final item regarding Boron, this I did not know as I am not as old as some of you who read this, but I remember my parents telling me about the "TWENTY MULE TEAM" Borax show. That's right folks, this is where it all started. I even stopped and took a picture of "TWENTY MULE TEAM RD.," for the scrapbook. This will most likely be on the test later so make sure you remember this.........................
and finally the last thing you see before leaving the desert is acres and acres of "BIG WHITE AIRPLANE PROPELLERS ON REALLY TALL POLES," and no, ALCOHOL had nothing to do with this part of the story. These things are everywhere and I am really not sure if this is an experiment from "Weird Science"the power facility for a town or maybe a form of communication for outer space.
One last stop along the way is Hinkley. I am sure all of you have heard of Hinkley. It is the town made famous in the movie ERIN BROKOVICH.
One other thing that you might want to be concerned about are the tumbleweeds. Driving across the Mojave with the wind blowing, not hard enough to {REFER TO PARAGRAPH 6} etch the glass, you encounter one of natures phenomena called a tumbleweed. These things are designed for only one purpose that I can determine and that is the total destruction of your vehicle. When the wind blows these GIANT BALLS OF UNBREAKABLE WEED can bounce off your car or get under your car and really ugly things happen. Scratched Paint, steering not steering, keeping it between the lines and for obvious reasons this is not a good time to stop for a drink or look for a bottle with a message in it. It is just like being in the middle of a pinball machine and your are a moving bumper!!!!
So you come out of the desert and it is on to Barstow. Barstow is the beginning of I-40 which travels 2554 miles all the way to Wilmington, NC and I know this for a fact since I have been on all of it. So I took I-40 as far as Kingman and bought gas in Arizona because buying gas in California more than once would have required that I take out a mortgage on my house and I did not have the proper paperwork and then headed on to where I was supposed to be.
As you travel through Arizona in the evening the surrounding mountains start to change color as the sun sets. I have seen sunsets from one side of the country to the other. Some are not bad, some are good, and some are great. I happen to prefer the Key West sunset. Of course there was a time when I was not sure if the sun was going down or coming up (I believe alcohol was involved in the confusion) however I digress (don't ask me what it means, I left my Funk & Wagnall somewhere?????) where was I, oh yeah, the sunsets, as you travel through the mountains and the sun is going down, the mountains start to turn pink (a good friend of mine calls it the PINK TIME) and then they change to purple. It really gets a little weird if you just stop and look at them. (It is sort of like a Jimi Hendrix Experience without the BONG and GUITAR, "OH YEAH!!!!!", but since I was on a schedule there was no time to stop and take pictures, just looked as I drove.
So now I am where I thought I would be even though it took me a while to find me, but I knew if I waited long enough I would show up.
{:-)
