The End or is it?????????????

So here I am where I was when I started this trip sometime back in July. I have finally arrived at my final destination for this trip which was the beginning.

I have traveled several thousand miles, 8,861 miles according to the speedometer. Miss Mabel now has 223,417 miles on her and she is just like a Timex Watch. Takes a lickin and keeps on tickin!!!!!! oh and Blue Boy is fine too.................

I have been through or stopped in 21 states, bought untold gallons of gas (unfortunately I did not keep a record this time) and had for the most part a really good time.

The states that I was in at one time or another are as follows: Florida, Georgia, Tennessee, Kentucky, Indiana, Illinois, Missouri, Iowa, Nebraska, Wyoming, Utah, Nevada, California (actually was in and out of California twice), Oregon, Washington, Arizona, New Mexico, Texas, Louisiana, Mississippi, Alabama and finally back to Florida.

I have been gone almost 5 months, met a lot of people, hopefully made some new friends. I did not get to see every body I wanted to see, but there is always NEXT TIME??????? Some I will remember, some I wish I could remember, and some, WELL, NEVER MIND.....................

I found several bottles, unfortunately no messages, probably that was due to the fact that I had to consume the contents to see if there was a message in there.

The good news is that this time I did not have to hurry home for the BIG WIND season as the only BIG WINDS that happened went some where else or I just drove away from them.

I have already said that next year I am going to take a break and maybe just go to the keys. But some I have talked to said the POOL has already started as to when I will leave and where I will go, but as I said, for me it is time to take a break.

I have attached some pictures of my little shack so you know where I started and where I ended up at.

From time to time I will post other stories from times past just because it is fun to put em out there.

But for now hope you all have or had {depending on when or if you read this??????}a Happy Thanksgiving.

I do believe I stumbled on to the PHILOSOPHY OF LIFE or at least one that sounds good. I just want to live happily ever after every now and then.

HOW IS THAT FOR A WAY TO END IT???????????? FOR RIGHT NOW...... and by the way the PENGUIN is the security guard.

Heart Attack Grill...........

So what you ask is the Heart Attack Grill and even if you don't ask I am going to tell you anyway since I am the one doing the writing. Why do I always have to explain this???????

Anyway on to the GRILL. I had heard about this place while I was in Florida and decided that I had to see it when I got to Arizona. This place should be considered the home of the CHOLESTEROL OVERDOSE!!!!!!!

It is a combination of HOOTERS and the EMERGENCY ROOM at a hospital. The food has to be the greasiest in the world and I can say that with some authority since I have been out there to most of the world and this place truly ranks up there as a GREASY SPOON!!!!

I have included the link for the curious, but I was surprised the day I went as there were approximately 12 RED HATS in there (AND IF YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT A RED HAT IS, TRY GOOGLE). The only thing I would recommend is that if the occasion ever arises and you are able to go, make sure you have taken a DOUBLE DOSE of your cholesterol medication!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! There are only 5 items on the menu. French Fries {ALL YOU CAN EAT} fried in lard!!!!!!! and your choice of one of 4 hamburgers. The SINGLE BYPASS, DOUBLE BYPASS, TRIPLE BYPASS, or QUADRUPLE BYPASS--8000 calories!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and I ain't makin this up!!!!!! The food goes down really easy, actually it slides down because of the grease!!!!!!!!!!!!! One of the pictures is of a TRIPLE BYPASS.

Here is the link.

http://www.heartattackgrill.com/

So if you are ever in Chandler, Arizona just stop on by!!!!!!!!!!!
Unfortunately I had no time to look for messages from a bottle as I was SLIPPIN AND A SLIDIN OUT THE DOOR!!!!!!!!
{:-)

Tortilla Flats, and the

So once more into the DANGER ZONE I go. For I am here and that is where I have been, but now it is time to go find me again. By the time you read this you will not know where I am and I will have no idea where I am. But the next time you hear from me I will be where I was and that is where this whole thing started some months back. But that will be a story for another time since I am not there yet I can only write about the present since I have no idea when I will be there, but I know where I have been and that is what this is all about is telling where I have been.

I have been busy trying to find a bottle with a message in it. I found plenty of bottle and even a few cans, but no messages and I am not sure about the PHILOSOPHY OF LIFE, but I may have an idea about that by the time I get to where I am going. I am not sure how long it will take to get to where I am going since I have a few stops along the way. But I am sure that some where along the way I will find me.

So it was off to Tortilla Flats for a day of picture taking, doing touristy stuff and just generally relaxing. Every time I am out this way I always go to Tortilla Flats. It is about 25 miles from where I stay and it is a fun drive through the mountains and on the way you go by Canyon Lake.

The restaurant has great food and the bar has saddles for bar stools and unfortunately no stirrups so it is not wise to consume COPIOUS, {now that is a word!!!!!} amounts of alcoholic beverages for a couple of reasons. First, no stirrups means no way to hang on and second there are a whole lot of curves and two single lane bridges on the way home!!!!!!!!!!!! Therefore unless you come equipped with parachutes, it is recommended that alcohol be consumed in small amounts so that you do not attempt to straighten the road out!!!!!!!

This next little tidbit comes under the heading of INTERESTING, BUT USELESS INFORMATION. If you have to go to the men's room, which some of you won't for obvious reasons, just go see John Wayne!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I have taken the liberty or literary license or drivers license or fishing license or whatever license to include some information about Tortilla Flats.

Tortilla Flat is a small unincorporated community in far eastern Maricopa County, Arizona, United States. It is located in the central part of the state, northeast of Apache Junction. It is the last surviving stagecoach stop along the Apache Trail. According to the Gross Management Department of Arizona's main U.S. Post Office in Phoenix, Tortilla Flat is presumed to be Arizona's smallest official "community" having a U.S. Post Office and voter's precinct. The town has a population of 6. Tortilla Flat can be reached by vehicles on State Route 88, via Apache Junction.

Originally a camping ground for the prospectors who searched for gold in the Superstition Mountains in the mid to late 1800s, Tortilla Flat was later a freight camp for the construction of Theodore Roosevelt Dam. From this time (1904) on, Tortilla Flat has had a small (100 people) but continuous population. A flood in 1942 badly damaged the town, resulting in many residents moving away. Today Tortilla Flat is made up primarily of a small store and restaurant, which were constructed in the late 1980s after a fire consumed the existing store and restaurant on the same site. Several hiking trails into the Superstition Mountains begin near Tortilla Flat.

Based on available records Tortilla Flat got its start because of the road construction to Roosevelt Dam in 1904. There was a need for a stagecoach stop for freight haulers on their way to the construction site at Roosevelt Dam and Tortilla Flat served that purpose. Shortly following the construction of the road, Roosevelt Dam became a big tourist attraction. At that point Tortilla Flat was a stage stop for tourists and mail carriers through the 1930s.

The name "Tortilla Flat" originated from the cowboys who used to drive cattle from Globe to Phoenix. While in Phoenix, rancher Mr. Cline and his fellow cowboys celebrated their sale, and, having a little too much to drink, forgot to get supplies while they were in town. They ended up with only flour to make tortillas when they camped at the flat and were stranded.

Forest Service records show Tonto National Forest being established in 1905 as kind of a "package deal" with the Salt River Reclamation Project. The Forest Service was needed to manage the land and protect watershed for the dams because cattle grazing had denuded the land. The freight camp at Tortilla Flat, as well as the other camps along the road to the dam, were, therefore, on U.S. Forest Service land. Folks who decided to make Tortilla Flat their permanent residence kept up the lease on the land in later years whenever it came due.

Well, now it is on to the HEART ATTACK GRILL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
{:-)

A drive in the desert or am I part of a PINBALL MACHINE??????

So there I was and then I wasn't. I knew I had gone some where but I wasn't sure where, so I left California and went looking for myself and when I got to where I was going I was there just like I thought I would be.

So I left where I was and headed for Bakersfield on OLD HIWAY 99, this road is so old, (how old you ask?), well I will tell you, even if you did not ask, but I know you did........( : - ), this road is so old that I believe it was here when the Spanish monks traveled this way in the 1700s, (some of you are old enough to remember back then, but I was born (JUST A FEW YEARS LATER) and I believe at that time it was called the El Camino Real, that is your is your history lesson, find out if this is true or not!!!!!!!

This road has truly not changed that much since I traveled on it as a child, this stretch of pavement ought to be a historical monument similar to the EAST/WEST Route 66, it has about as many pieces missing and just about as many potholes as the roads in Mississippi, however not to be dissuaded (now that is a word I heard once, but I am not sure how to spell, I sure hope it is in spellchecker) I persevered and much to my surprise it has been fixed and is now really a good road or at least better than it was!!!!!!!!!!!!

And so at Bakersfield I made a left turn and headed out into the MOJAVE DESERT.

Normally I try to drive the "DESERT" at night.   This makes for a cooler drive and a lot less traffic, however you never really get to see what is out there, and what would be out there you ask?????  Well, I will tell you even if you already know.

When you drive into the Mojave during the day on a good day, it is only "HOT, HOT, HOT", (somebody wrote a song like that), on a bad day you can get thunderstorms, wind and sandstorms, these are the really fun times, thunderstorms cause flash floods so the best thing to do is run and find a rest area.   Trust me it is the safest place to be.   Then we have the wind and sandstorm, this is the most fun.   You are driving along and all of a sudden the wind picks up and the sand starts blowing and the next thing you know depending on which direction you are traveling, your car now has a shiny metal side and a painted side and quite possibly depending on the wind speed, you could also have some ETCHED GLASS.   The only way to describe this is to tell you to take a hair dryer, turn it on high, hold it about 12 inches away from your face and take a handful of fine grain sand and throw it in front of the blowing hair dryer.   WASN'T THAT FUN??????? and while you are having all this fun, remember that you should have gassed up in Bakersfield and should have a full tank. {:-)

Believe it or not there are actually things to see out in the desert, it is just a PLETHORA (whoa, how'd you like that word??????) of wonders of nature and man.  

I passed a sign out in the middle of the desert that read, "THIS PROPERTY FOR SALE FOR DEVELOPMENT" now I have never been the brightest light in the closet or the sharpest knife in the drawer, but I just could not see why I would want to buy a few hundred acres of Sand, Sagebrush, Jackrabbits, Rattlesnakes, and where the wind blows hot enough that you have to figure it is the Devil's own exhaust fan from down below!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

There is a town called BORON, not to be confused with MORON out there, I am not exactly sure where, you will have to look at a map of California to see exactly where, also there is Edwards Air Force base out there, this is the alternative landing site for the shuttle, both these places give new meaning to the words, "OUT IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE," wherever nowhere is, it is definitely better than this!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Well, now we come to Boron or maybe I already went through Boron, well anyway Boron has 2 things that I could see as I was passing through, well actually 3.   The first would be a BIG TRUCK STOP, you can buy gas there, but remember to bring your mortgage application with you!!! {actually the truck stop is at Four Corners, but it is close to Boron}, the second thing is a Transit Bus Boneyard, and what is that you ask????  That would be where they take the old  city buses that used to carry people around cities (am I glad we got that cleared up!!!!!), anyway if you are interested in purchasing a city bus for whatever reason (and I cannot think of any) then you should be gassing up the car and heading with great haste for Boron, Calif., oh and by the way it is on your right as you are going east.

Now the final item regarding Boron, this I did not know as I am not as old as some of you who read this, but I remember my parents telling me about the "TWENTY MULE TEAM" Borax show.   That's right folks, this is where it all started.   I even stopped and took a picture of "TWENTY MULE TEAM RD.," for the scrapbook.   This will most likely be on the test later so make sure you remember this......................... 
and finally the last thing you see before leaving the desert is acres and acres of "BIG WHITE AIRPLANE PROPELLERS ON REALLY TALL POLES," and no, ALCOHOL had nothing to do with this part of the story.   These things are everywhere and I am really not sure if this is an experiment from "Weird Science"the power facility for a town or maybe a form of communication for outer space.

One last stop along the way is Hinkley. I am sure all of you have heard of Hinkley. It is the town made famous in the movie ERIN BROKOVICH.

One other thing that you might want to be concerned about are the tumbleweeds. Driving across the Mojave with the wind blowing, not hard enough to {REFER TO PARAGRAPH 6} etch the glass, you encounter one of natures phenomena called a tumbleweed. These things are designed for only one purpose that I can determine and that is the total destruction of your vehicle. When the wind blows these GIANT BALLS OF UNBREAKABLE WEED can bounce off your car or get under your car and really ugly things happen. Scratched Paint, steering not steering, keeping it between the lines and for obvious reasons this is not a good time to stop for a drink or look for a bottle with a message in it. It is just like being in the middle of a pinball machine and your are a moving bumper!!!!

So you come out of the desert and it is on to Barstow. Barstow is the beginning of I-40 which travels 2554 miles all the way to Wilmington, NC and I know this for a fact since I have been on all of it. So I took I-40 as far as Kingman and bought gas in Arizona because buying gas in California more than once would have required that I take out a mortgage on my house and I did not have the proper paperwork and then headed on to where I was supposed to be.

As you travel through Arizona in the evening the surrounding mountains start to change color as the sun sets.   I have seen sunsets from one side of the country to the other. Some are not bad, some are good, and some are great.   I happen to prefer the Key West sunset.   Of course there was a time when I was not sure if the sun was going down or coming up (I believe alcohol was involved in the confusion) however I digress (don't ask me what it means, I left my Funk & Wagnall somewhere?????) where was I, oh yeah, the sunsets, as you travel through the mountains and the sun is going down, the mountains start to turn pink (a good friend of mine calls it the PINK TIME) and then they change to purple.   It really gets a little weird if you just stop and look at them. (It is sort of like a Jimi Hendrix Experience without the BONG and GUITAR, "OH YEAH!!!!!", but since I was on a schedule there was no time to stop and take pictures, just looked as I drove.

So now I am where I thought I would be even though it took me a while to find me, but I knew if I waited long enough I would show up.
{:-)
    

The Security Guard, Water 2 Wine and a Car Show

Here I am in another time zone??????? Actually I am in the same place I was except that with the time change I actually moved into a different time zone......... How does that happen you ask and even if you don't ask I am going to tell you anyway!!!!!!! I was in one place and then I went someplace else and that was in the Pacific Daylight Time and then it became Mountain Standard Time and I did not even have to go across the street. It is just one of those unexplained phenomenoms {I HOPE SPELL CHECK HAS THIS ONE?????} of the other side of the time warp or in my case I may be the one that is warped, wrapped, trapped or otherwise confused about what I am doing, where I am doing it, and should I be allowed to do it in the first place???????

Isn't this part fun???? I just love this part. It always gets me so confused that by the time I actually get to the part where I start to write whatever it is that I am going to write about that I DO NOT HAVE A CLUE WHAT IS GOING ON!!!!!!! It is like taking a trip back to the '60's. They say if you remember the 60's then you probably were not there and I can tell you from experience that parts of that time in my life ARE JUST A LITTLE BIT VAGUE?????!!!!

Well, now that I have gotten the drug induced part of the writing over with where I listen to JIMI HENDRIX'S "PURPLE HAZE" whilst I listen to TIMOTHY LEARY talk about the TRILOGY of "TUNE IN, TURN ON, and DROP OUT" I will proceed without further "wow man"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So since I am not where I was when this part of the story takes place I will put pen to paper or in this case maybe not pen to paper, but keys to the screen and then print it out, or not???? depending on how I feel at the moment.......

While I was where I was there was this cat, actually there were 2 of them, but only one of them had a tail, but that is a story for another time, so there were these 2 cats, one with a tail and one without a tail not to be confused with a TALE since they are part of the TALE, both of them that is. The one with the tail and the one without the tail.

The one with the tail was the actual security guard as he ate the most and was always the one who was at the door so I have to assume that he was the one in charge. The one with no tail always showed up to eat, but never was seen at any other time so I have to assume that he was back-up in case of any major problem like maybe somebody else wanted to eat out of the bowl.

The guards were good at their jobs as no one tried to break in where I was staying and there were never any prowlers that I knew about?????? The problem with the guards was that they only worked part time which was similar to the DOORMAN in a previous story {refer back to MY CHATEAU TO GO--PART DUX} and I was never really sure which part of the time they were working. I know they ate on a regular basis and the lead guard was always at a different spot. I am just not sure if he was guarding, sleeping or maybe that was a type of camouflage to confuse us all. I know that while I was there I am sure he put on a pound or two and certainly seemed to be guarding the front door a lot more. While he was eating and guarding, I was busy tasting wine which brings me to the next part of the story. How is that for a skagway or segway or my way or anyway. WHATEVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So it was off to look for bottles of wine and the wine tastings. A whole lot more fun that making sure the guards ate well. I found this winery which was not that far from where I was staying which is always a good thing because when you start tasting wines, the problems you have with other drivers on the way home is multiplied by the amount of glasses consumed while tasting. Of course it is always necessary to taste several types so that you are sure of what vintage you prefer. Luckily the first one I tasted was the one I decided on so although all the others were good and the wine tasting was a SMASHING SUCCESS so to speak or probably I should not speak, well anyway all in all a good time was had by all.

I actually ended up selecting a batch and had it bottled and my own label put on. So I figured after I drank all the contents I would autograph the bottles and give them out as Christmas Presents. Just kidding folks. I think I will keep them and use them for candle holders during the BIG WIND SEASON??????? So after consuming COPIUS AMOUNTS {don't know what it means, but I figured I would throw it in there anyway} of wine and managing to find my way back to the house and feeding the security guards, {they sure eat a lot!!!!!!!}. It was off to the car show.

I have to tell you, well I don't really have to tell you, but I am going to anyway that I like HOT ROD or OLD CAR SHOWS. It seemed like every time I was somewhere where there was a car show this summer I had to be someplace else when the show took place. So when I heard about this show I made it a point to be sure and be there so I could go and guess what???????? Well, even though you won't guess I will tell you. That is when I got the FOOD POISONING!!!!!!!!!! Well,!!!!!!! I was going to the show no matter what and as it turned out by the time of the show I was recovered enough to be able to actually enjoy the show. The show was great, the cars were fantastic and again a good time was had by all. I can only put a few pictures on the blog so if you want what I have from the car show, just email me separately and I will send what I have.

Well, I must get ready to pack and head where I am going next even though I am already there, but since I am writing this as if I was still there I just figured I would end this story that way.

Have a HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
{;-)