Rocks, a Planter and a Door????????

Well, since the last time I blogged (is that a real word?????) I am sure you have all been curious about what is going on. Well, even if you aren't I am going to tell you.

I have been busy, as you know I finished the big job and then Monday, that would be Aug. 24 just so you know which Monday......... I had a small job which took about 3 hours and then I took the rest of the day of. You can do that when you are the boss and the only employee......................... so anyway I took the day off and then I started on the planter yesterday which would have been Tuesday and finished it today.

This planter was nothing like the other planter as this one had a decorative cinder block border, ground cover and a river rock filler.

So I laid it out, put in the border, and filled it in with rock, but also planted plants as I went. Now I know that this is about as exciting reading as watching someone unload a Sears truck or watching paint dry, so as a bonus I will include for edification and reading pleasure another past life story. Now aren't you excited !!!!!!!!!!

The other part of this story is that I also replaced a front door on the place where I am staying (but I did that before the planter) to make the place a little more weather proof for the coming winter. Unfortunately the door frames was not straight so that meant that the door would not be straight. The previous door was a hollow core with a hole in it which actually during the winter time made the whole door freeze!!!!!!! Well, again with a lot of acid reflux, heartburn, and speaking in several languages and finally climbing to the top of Mt. Ignorance, I finally got the door hung and swing correctly after which some VERY MINOR REPAIRS were required to put certain parts of the structure back together again!!!!!!!!!!! but that is another story.........

And so I am off to Vancouver for a small job and then I will be starting to head south to see what I can do about anything along the way?????????? and continue my search for messages from the bottle which by the way I have managed to locate two more bottles!!!!!! and continue to look for the meaning of life?????
{ ; - )

The Gathering

Chapter 1
One Last Time

Those of us that were left of the "BROTHERHOOD of the BRAINDEAD" began to come together for the final gathering for there can be only "ONE," (I saw that in a movie once and thought it would be a good opener), don't worry it will get better or worse depending on how you look at it, anyway we started gathering in CAYO WASTE-O for the final time. Captain Nemo arrived first, King Ralph was next and the Right Reverend Mahvin a day later, a day later than what I don't know, but I do remember it was a day later.

The time had come after LO, ( how about that word, HUH, HUH) these many years to complete a job started by a few and worked on by many, some who I cannot remember, some who I wish I could remember, and some who I prefer not to remember at all. Well, enough PROLOGUE, (there is another one of those neat words), so we had gathered to begin final preparations for taking the "OLD GIRL", (this is not meant to offend any one of the opposite SEX, that is a submarine term, so if I have offended anyone who might be unfortunate enough to read this, "GET OVER IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!), the USS TROUT SS566 north to Philadelphia.

We started getting the running lights wired and tested as they would run off of batteries and solar cells, (we could not find a long enough extension cord), anyway the lights were wired, tested, and then retested, and all worked. Then came the flood alarms, that is always a good thing to have on a submarine, (I hate it when water gets in the people tank) all wires were connected, tested and retested and all worked.

Next came the primary tow chain, this chain is about 50 feet long and weighs about 4,500 pounds, that's right girls and boys, just a little more than a pound of bacon. Now this chain has to be connected to an I Beam on the front of the submarine with a shackle that when you handle it and go to hook it up is about as much fun as trying to hang a Volkswagen from a clothes line, oh and I forgot to mention that the rest of the tow chain has to be on the deck of the submarine so that the tow vessel can hook up and take the chain to their tow cable. "ARE WE HAVING FUN YET?" So after a few smashed fingers, 3 sore backs, one sprained ankle, and a partridge in a pear tree, the chain was secure on the deck, the shackle was in the eye and yours truly was covered in mud from the chain that went to the bottom when it slipped off the deck the first time.

So now it is Monday and we are supposed to be leaving but unfortunately due to circumstances beyond our control we are now leaving Tuesday, AM, but then Tuesday, AM, turns out to be Tuesday PM and so at 4 PM on March 16, 2004 the SS566, the last DIESEL ELECTRIC submarine to leave CAYO WASTE-O, of course we are under tow with 2 of us on board for maneuvering watch, that is navy talk for "somebody throw the lines off and get everything tied down", but when you try and move something the length of a football field, "EVERYBODY WANTS TO WATCH AND TAKE PICTURES" so getting out of the harbor was a feat in itself for the tug driver, the traffic made Orlando, Florida at rush hour look like a Sunday school picnic, but when you see something 156 feet long, 80,000 tons, 6000 horsepower, and FOUR stories high coming at you, people have a tendency to give you the right of way, (especially when the tug captain gets on the bullhorn and asks them where do they want the body sent, YEEHAW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!). So finally clearing the harbor and then going by all the tourists and waving for the picture takers we cleared Ft. Taylor and then the sea buoy and then got "ON THE ROAD AGAIN," I heard that in a song and just thought I would throw that in.

WELL!!!!!!!! the first night out the running lights don't work. The running lights are the red and green lights that are lit at night so you can see the ship and tell which direction it is going. Anyway they are not working so all night we keep a search lite on the boat to keep an eye on her. So now comes the really fun part as Captain Nemo and yours truly, King Ralph have to get back on the boat and fix the lights, now picture this, you are 15 miles off shore, 3 to 5 foot seas with 5 to 7 foot swells trying to jump into a 12 foot rubber Zodiac boat so it can be rammed into the side of a submarine so we can jump off and fix the lights. "YEAH BABY, WE ARE HAVING FUN NOW!!!", well that is exactly what happens according to the plan, we fix the lights and then we have to repeat this process to get back to the tug. The good news is we did it, the bad news is, looks like I am going to need more therapy to keep from walking with a limp and I am sure Captain Nemo will be fine also, but that is another story. The good news is it was St. Patrick's Day, the bad news was there was no green beer to celebrate with, but we are back "ON THE ROAD AGAIN."

Chapter 2
Light up King Ralph

Well, we head out on a somewhat northerly course heading in the general direction of Philadelphia and as it gets dark we check the running lights and guess what, yup, you guessed it, they don't work again. I want to thank Home depot for a 12 volt photocell times 3 that doesn't work, I will be sure not to buy one from them and at the same time I have come to understand why they call ships and submarines "SHE." They let you think everything is OK and then ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHH it ain't.

So not only do the lights not work, but now the weather wants to get in on the act and now the fun begins. I went down after the so-called repair and took a nap from 4:30 to 5:30, (you gotta have this part to understand the rest), and then at 5:30 got up to go on watch at 6:00 PM, supper was ready so I gulped down 2 greasy pork chops, some jambalaya rice with greasy sausage, (starting to get the picture), and just for color some green peas. So up to the wheel house I go, (that is nautical talk for where they put the steering wheel), the first hour of this 6 hour watch was pretty uneventful, but then (refer to the first sentence of this paragraph), things start to get a little dicey, the wind picks up to between 20 and 25 knots, waves are 15 to 20 feet, (your assignment is to figure it out), here is a hint, the waves are coming over the bow and up against the windows in the wheel house. Everything I ate is starting to turn like in a butter churn, so about 7:30 King Ralph appears in all his royal upchuckness and starts driving the royal porcelain bus for the next 3 hours, much to the glee of the tug crew, Captain Nemo and the Right Reverend Mahvin, of course we have all been through this so no sympathy is expected and none will be given. Well king Ralph has finally had it about 10:30, I have driven the bus for 3 hours, fallen down the steel stairs twice, banged up my arm, tore up my stomach and (SEVERELY DAMAGED MY PRIDE, but we are having fun now, YEEHAW!!!!!), so as I managed stumble to our stateroom and wake Mahvin and explain my most serious situation, Mahvin said he would take the rest of my watch and his. Well, the good news is that after 12 hours of serious bed rest KING RALPH will live with only some psychological scaring, no therapy, and another page in the history of.

Chapter 3
The Next Day

The weather has calmed down and now it is time to get back to the sub and fix the running lights for the final time, Captain Nemo gets to go back, but this time we are going to hard wire the lights, let them run 24 hours a day as we have plenty of battery and solar cells to charge the batteries. So again the zodiac slams into the sub, Captain Nemo jumps off, scrambles up the sail, hard wires the lights, scrambles down the sail, the zodiac slams the sub again, Captain Nemo jumps on board and away they go back to the tug, the lights are working and all is right in MUD RIVER. (FYI-the seas are smooth, that is why only one person was needed)
That evening the seas and the wind start to do their thing, (refer back to the female ARGHHHHHHHH) only now the seas get up to 25 to 30 foot waves and the wind is now up to 30 knots, so here we go again, We get to (RIDE the WILD SURF), that was a movie way back when, but it still works, so now we only have one choice and that is to HAUL A _ _ and make sure we do it in one load. We are taking water over the wheel house big time and getting banged from side to side, sometimes life is a little more fun than other times, UH HUH, UH HUH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!. The good news is we made the safe haven off of Morehead City, N. C. and from the looks of the weather, we will be here for a few days, bobbing around like a cork in a bathtub.

Chapter 4
BORING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So we finally make safe haven off of Morehead City, N C, of course safe haven usually means calm water and nice breezes, WELL NOT HERE!!!!!!!!!!!, calm water is 2 to 4 foot seas and 3 to 5 foot swells at anchor!!!!!!!!!!! So after 36 hours of getting bounced around in the CALM WATER, the weather forecast says that things are going to calm down around Cape Hatteras and the Captain says we are "going to make a run for it," Oh Boy, here we go again!!!!!

Chapter 5
And AWEIGH We Go

6 AM, 36 hours later and the Captain says weigh anchor, well you don't really weigh the anchor because everybody already knows that it is ONE HEAVY SUCKER, that is nautical talk for "get that hummer out of the dirt", so the guys who do that go out there and start hoisting the anchor and finally they say "ANCHORS AWEIGH", that is nautical talk that means, "we got the hummer out of the mud" and the Captain again points us on a course, of course toward Philadelphia. I had the first watch from 6 AM to Noon and so as we rounded "Cape Kick Your A@#", (that is HATTERAS for those who don't know) around 8 PM, that night yours truly was sleeping soundly and avoided any consequences that might have come about due to the beating we were taking. (refer to chapter 2 {;-)

Chapter 6
Oh Boy, Here We Go Again!!!!!

Seems like everything runs in 36 hour time frames, because here we are 36 hours later and it is midnight, we have been getting prepared for the changeover and what is the changeover you ask, WELL I am going to tell you, (yeah right like I wasn't going to say anything), anyway feature this, it is midnight at the mouth of the Delaware River (Delaware Bay), the seas are running 3 to 5 feet with swells to 8 feet, the temperature is about 10 degrees with the chill factor (and I don't want to EVEN think about the water temperature!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) and Captain Nemo and King Ralph have to transfer from the tug to the PILOT BOAT, (that is the boat that brings the guy out that knows the river and the law says you have to have one ), and then we get to take the pilot boat over to the submarine and UH HUH, you guessed it, we get to jump on the submarine and you only get one try because after that you are TOAST!!!, oh by the way did I mention that after we get on the submarine, we get to try and haul a 2" line aboard while we are standing on a water soaked, slippery deck about 6 feet wide that is tied to the trailing tug, (while we are being towed through the water at about 12 miles an hour with the line being drug through the water also) Oh yeah, We are having fun!!!!!!!!!!, that is the tug that has to keep our tail from drifting left or right in the channel. The good news is we got it pulled in and tied down, of course the temperature was such that by the time we got done, neither one of us could talk because our jaws were sorta frozen in place.

Chapter 7
Down We Go?????

I bet you thought we were going to dive the boat?, WRONG!!!!!!!!!!!, now it is about 1:30 AM and we have to go down inside the boat and start deballasting her, (again, nautical talk for this "SHE" has to shed a few tons), so here we are, running around like rats in a sewer pipe, (ah, but we have flashlights) just the 2 of us on a pitch black submarine in the middle of the Delaware River putting this lady on a crash diet. So from 1:30 AM to about 7 in the morning we managed to make her lose about 16 tons, (this has nothing to do with the song of the same name), don't you ladies wish you could lose weight that fast { : - ) and after all that now we get to go up on the top of the sail and just watch as we go up the river, I forgot to tell you that it takes 14 hours to get there up the river. At about 2:30 PM we finally get to our mooring pier (that's nautical for "hey, we got a parking place"), in beautiful downtown Philadelphia, what a depressing place, not to mention the fact that it is colder than you know what up there, another couple of hours and we are finally tied up, got the gangway across and shore power hooked up. YAY!!!!!!!!!!, DRY LAND AT LAST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Chapter Eight
The Last Day

The next morning we started taking all the temporary equipment off of her that we brought with us and packing it in the truck we are going to drive back to CAYO WASTE-O, so after 3 years of never really being sure what was going to happen. The old girl is tied up in Philadelphia and no one is really sure what is going to happen to her. She could be come a museum in a couple of places among other options. So as we drove away for the last time, we all said our good-byes to her in our own way, I hate good-byes so I just said, SEA U LATR, and then somebody said "Did you hear about the sub out in.................................

As a follow up to this story after about 2 years of sitting in Philadelphia, some admiral up in Washington, D.C. got his panties in a WAD and spent approximately $380, 000.00!!!!!!!!!!!! to have the OLD LADY towed to Brownsville,Tex to be turned into RAZOR BLADES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

A What??????????????

Well, ladies and gentlemen, children under the age of??????? and children of all ages. I finally finished building a pergula/pergalo.

It was just so exciting that I just feel all warm, fuzzy and tingly inside!!!!!!!!!

When I started this thing I did not even know how to spell the word, let alone build one!!!!!!! but after watching several segments of THIS OLD HOUSE and consuming untold amounts of medication just trying to get a message out of any bottle, I finally started to build it with a scrambled brain from the TV and a severe headache from the medicine which I might add should only be consumed in moderation.......... and don't try this at home!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The pictures attached are pretty self explanatory, but the first day was the most fun cause I got to cut and break stuff, of course then comes the really fun part when you have to start putting it back together.

Now you say, I can hear you!!!!!!!!!!! saying that it should not be that hard, well with the right amount of medication you are absolutely correct, HOWEVER, since the right amount was not available@#%&@#%&@ I just had to press ahead so to speak or not to speak since there was no one there but me and I had grown tired of talking to myself, but that is another story.

Anyway first I had to replace some posts, then I had to try and make 4x4's go where they should go and there is no thrill like trying to bend a 4x4!!!!!!!! That sort of ranks up there with a PUBLIC FLOGGING and me being the !!!!!!!!!!! but I persevered (another big word) and finally after speaking in several languages, some that I had forgotten that I even knew the Pergula/Pergulo/who really gives a @#&%!!!!!!!!!

Since spell check is giving me a fit I will spell it both ways and then somebody else can figure it out!!!!!!!!!!!!

Well, the job is completed and now I am somewhere else since I am not where I was doing something different than I was and learning a whole bunch of neat new words!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Enjoy the pictures. For those of you who are interested I have a series of what I built that can be had by just sending me an email requesting all the pictures since I am limited to 5 on the blog.

Well, I am off to conquer Mt. Ignorance again and maybe take a break at
MY BEACH HOUSE ON THE MOON WHILST I HAVE A CHEESEBURGER IN PARADISE?????

TA TA, CHEERIO, WHAT HO!!!!!! AND WHATEVER???????

{;-)

King Ralphs Report

So there I was, but now I am not because I am here and I am always someplace all the time. Well, anyway I have ventured out again on another sojourn, and hooked up with a bunch of ex-boat sailors in Ft. Pierce, and there we were, but now we are not, so we ended up someplace else, but not together, so here we are and I was born at a very early age. (But that is another story.)

Those of us who have decided to be part-time sub sailors at the expense of our muscles, backs, brains and various other parts of our anatomy which we seem determined to abuse or bruise for whatever our own private reasons are, have gathered back here in CAYO WASTE-O like the swallows of San Juan Capistrano, (that is in California for those who don't know or are geographically challenged, and for those who don't care, just keep reading and don't say anything!!!!!!!!!!!)

So Monday the first day of week, (but you already knew that) since there were at that time 4 warm, although somewhat brain dead bodies here. It was decided that we would put the secondary tow line on the boat. Now that seems like an easy enough task, however I think we must have all had a real serious attack of STOOOOOOOOOOpid or else we forgot our medication, because the towline is 300 feet long and weighs in at a cool 2 tons, that's right ladies and gentlemen, 4000 pounds. WHAT THE H _ _ _ WERE WE THINKING??????????, Well with a little engenuity, (I know it is spelled wrong, I was just making sure you were paying attention) we managed with no more than 3 sore backs, 1 smashed finger, and 4 bruised ankles to actually get the cable on the deck where we had to put it.

Along comes Tuesday and we have some more people show up referred to in the future as MAINE-E-ACS, yes that is all one word. We are now below decks for the next 3 days turning ourselves into a pretzel and going where no human has gone before, at least not in the last 30 years and getting ourselves poked, stabbed, cut and otherwise abused, not to mention the shock therapy which helps keep the pacemaker going. Oh, I failed to mention the fact that we were tracing out parts of the subs electrical system (THAT WERE STILL ENERGIZED) and just having an ELECTRIFYING time, OH YEAH, UH HUH, UH HUH. Well, we got that figured out. Now it is Friday and time to go back up topside and set the tow line. This meant taking that 2ton cable, putting it over the side of the boat and putting it in bolt on, tear away clips. By this time there are now about 9 of us stumbling all over ourselves trying to keep this cable from becoming an offering to the sea gods. We all managed to keep the cable where it should be, however in the process yours truly managed to smash my left hand and 3 of the fingers, (nothing serious folks, the Dr. says with years of therapy, I may even be able to play the piano again) and just slightly scuff up the right hand.

So now we are into the second week of this somewhat controlled insanity and I am working with this other LUNATIC MAINE-E-AC, one of the afore mentioned whose name is Roger Ramjet, (hey, I am not making this stuff up), and between the 2 of us we are getting into places nobody would believe and fixing lighting that has not been touched by the human hand for a minimum of 30+ years. Of course a few times it was touch and go, we thought that we might need to get our mail forwarded, get a box of Depends and have sandwiches delivered. We managed to get all the lights fixed and in the process managed to impale ourselves in several different areas of our bodies, in the process parts of the submarine have also been adjusted to allow for humans to go where others might (we could tell somebody had been there because of the BONES) have gone before. We also managed to pull wire and get the I C panel, that is SUB TALK for (INTERIOR COMMUNICATIONS) in the control room, the diving and collision alarms, and the 1 MC (that is the interior loudspeaker system, you know where the guy comes on and says this is your captain speaking or "NOW HEAR THIS"), isn't that exciting, I know YAWNNNNNNNNNNN, all working.

Of course during this entire time, we had to enter and exit through the forward torpedo room where this cantankerous old chief named Tony the Torpedoman continually yelled at us for SCREWING up his torpedo room while he was trying to clean and paint it.

Well Ramjet left on Thursday am of the second week and I have to crawl literally into the BRA 11 (I know, Bra’s start at A and go up, well in the Navy, Bra size is determined in a different manner, so live with it) well and twist myself into a pretzel so I can remove 3 transformers that have been stacked on top of each other in a confined space that defies description. I have pictures to prove that I was in the well, however they could only take a head shot (and you have no idea how hard it is to work when you are messing with a BRA) easy there you perverts, remember that is Navy jargon, anyway then the other picture is of my legs, could not see my feet, they were down in the well. So I am in the well working like a surgeon with the Right Reverend Mahvin (he conducted evening revivals at the CHURCH OF THE V F W) as my scrub nurse and a Maine-e-ac in the closet where I am telling him what to do because all he can see is my head, (yes folks, a real live talking head) and did I remember to mention that each transformer weighs in at about 250 pounds. Now this would be no easy task in an open area, but working in an area the size of a monopoly board definitely puts a strain on the working conditions. So we get the first one loose and then I have to jockey this thing around and get it to the hole where I came in on my back to get into this place to begin with while it is hanging on a rope held by two other guys on the other side of the hole and suspended from a hydraulic line. (and to add to the thrill of it all, I cannot see them and they cannot see me which makes it all that much more interesting) Well I explained to the guys holding the rope that they should not let go. If that were to happen in the position that I was standing while taking the transformer apart, I would be forced to sing soprano in the church choir. Well, the good news is that I did not have to forward my mail, no depends were required and I am not singing soprano and the three transformers came out, BUT not without a certain amount of parts of several languages being spoken.

So I decided that since this all happened on a Friday and I had been invited to a chili cookoff, (stick with me, this all ties together), anyway I took a ½ day on Saturday and went to Cudgoe key for the cookoff, had a lot of good food and unfortunately drank some vodka which did not seem to go with the chili. So home I hurry to drive the porcelain bus for four hours much to the glee and entertainment of the other 2 guys who are staying in this townhouse where I have been moved to, so when I woke up the next morning they both bowed and welcomed back KING RALPH to the living.

After all the hoorahs, guffaws, various other obscene comments during the celebration, off to the submarine we go to pressure clean and then paint. So I start to pressure clean the turtle back, (that is the part of the sub at the back, but not part of the superstructure, you need a picture to understand) and not being at a 100% I managed to slip and shoot myself in the leg with the needle point of a 4000 pound pressure cleaner, well girls and boys you just have no idea what that is like, it did not hurt that much, but my pride was really damaged and then it only got better when I got off the sub to go bandage up my ankle, I turned off the pressure cleaner, gas operated and burnt 3 of my fingers on the exhaust manifold. (now altogether, BOY ARE YOU STOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOPID) Thank you very much. Anyway the good news is that King Ralph should only walk with a limp for the next 4 or 5 years and the fingers will be fine as soon as the blistering goes down.

Well, the work party ended and we all hobbled, drove or flew back to wherever it was we came from, but like the Governor of California said,"We'll be back," cause that's right folks, we're going to PHILADELPHIA, taking the submarine up there, so that will be the next trip. From CAYO WASTE-O, home of the conch, to Philly, home of the cheese steak.

Stay tuned for more adventures of KING RALPH

The Planter Part 2

So here I am again still trying to find the message from the bottle!!!!!

I have emptied 2 bottles so far and the only message that I received was that I probably should have emptied the bottles a little more slowly so as not to create more pain and alleviate the pain from working more!!!!!!!! How ever some one once said that "pain don't hurt" so I will go along with that and ignore the OBVIOUS!!!!!!!!!!!

As can be seen in the previous pictures the planter as it was is no longer. It was demo'ed also. I started the framing after finishing the the 2x2 roof above. My helper was there and all the framing was done and then I started the walls. Unfortunately I had no work for my helper so all she could do was sit on the railing and watch as you can see in the pictures.

There is not really a lot I can do to make this story any more interesting or entertaining as cutting boards and screwing screws is just that.

BORING!!!!!!!

So I will not bore you with any more on this, I will just let you look at the pictures and see what was done!!!!!!!!!!! but there will be more to come because I get to rebuild a PERGULA????????????? PERGOLA????? WHATEVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!
{;-)

So There I Was

sitting and watching a bowl game, can't remember if it was the TIDY Bowl, TOILET Bowl or the SOUP Bowl. Oh well you get the BOWL PICTURE. Any way I suddenly realized that I had to pack as it was time to go to Miami, a short pause on the way to CAYO WASTE-O. So I packed all my clothes, well not all my clothes, just some of my clothes, and headed south. I know that is hard to believe but from where I live now, you can actually go south, but that's another story.

So I arrived in CAYO WASTE-O by way of BROKEN CHICKEN and promptly started playing on the submarine with some other social misfits who had reached a more mature stage of life, (HOW'S THAT FOR SAYING OLD IN A NICE WAY) and after the holidays finding out that the access hatches had shrunk even more!!!!!!!!!!! Can you believe that, who said metal does not shrink, but that's another story.

So there I was sitting in the galley, not to be confused with the BEN HUR galleys, they rowed, we just sit there and eat and drink coffee which is made by various unnamed persons who I am convinced go down and dip the stuff out of the bilge's, but that's another story. So there I was when HE walked in, (calm down you perverts) one of the bosses from NAWC-- NAVAL AIR WARFARE CENTER, they are the people who actually own the submarine, comes in and mentions that the 38 ship, is having electrical problems and they have no one to fix them so the next thing I know, we, (meaning 2 of us) are being transferred to an active duty ship to solve the problems. So as I write this part of the story, I have been on this ship for 3 days!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AND ALL I WANT IS OUT OF THE REGULAR NAVY, TRANSFER ME BACK TO THE INACTIVE SUB SERVICE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! So we finally got the job done, WELL what else did you expect???????????????? and back to the boat we went, BOAT is Submarine talk for SUBMARINE, they are not called ships, but that is another story.

So there I was minding my own business when suddenly I am in the deep, dark, and dank (you like that word?) bowels of this oversized sewer pipe, that would be the lower flats or the basement trying to fit myself into places where no human should have to go, (especially since the metal on this BOAT seems to be shrinking at a more rapid rate than normal) to screw down all the deck plates (that is a navy term for the floor) anyway after twisting and turning and speaking several words in various foreign languages and being jabbed by a variety of objects that defy description in a variety of places, (I will leave that one to your imagination, ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! : - ) I finally managed to get the floor screwed down in Maneuvering Room, Control Room, and the Engine Room, both outboard and inboard of all three engines and that is no small feat in itself, considering that the aforementioned space was designed to only accept people under 5 feet tall with a twelve inch waist and I am 6 foot 3 inches and never mind the waist!!!!!!!!!!!

So there I was working on the High pressure manifold and getting it repacked and then started an air charge, doesn't that sound exciting, sorta ranks up there with watching paint dry, but it had to be done along with rebuilding some valves, and that took a few days, (well nobody said I was the fastest worker!!!!!!!!!!!!)

So there I was just cutting steel as we had to rebuild the safety track topside, (it is like trying to put a puzzle together where there are no pieces using 3/8" X 5" flat iron and 3/8" X 2 1/2" I Beam and cutting your pieces with a 4" die grinder) that is a track that allows you to move the length of the BOAT topside and not get washed overboard when underway, (UNDERWAY means when you are out to sea) so for the next seven or eight days, I am not sure how long since we work 7 days a week from about 7:30 AM to SUNDOWN, yes folks I said sundown!!!!!!!!!!!!! OH DID I MENTION THAT THIS IS ALL VOLUNTEER AND NOBODY GETS PAID TO PUT THEM SELVES THROUGH THIS. Well, nobody ever said I was the sharpest knife in the drawer……….....

So there I was sitting there enjoying my 39th cup of coffee that morning and it was only 9:30 AM when the electrical supply house calls and said my transformer was in, well this just made my heart go all a flutter, because now I could finally get the port (that's left in civilian talk)lighting to work, so I spend a whole day getting this 160 pound monster mounted on the wall and then wired up. I waited until the next day to test and SO THERE I WAS the next day testing this thing and lo and behold the lights did not work, OH WOE IS ME, but as it turned out it was not YOURS TRULY who was at fault, seems that some wiring needed to be reworked, but since we were down to the end of this work period, I will have to fix it next time, but that is another story. So for the last 2 days I pressure cleaned and painted Bow Buoyancy, that one you get to figure out for your self.

So there I was and now I am not, but I will be in about 2 weeks............but that is another story………...........

Don't forget there is another story to read because of the way these post!!!!!!

Construction Part 1

I am currently in Portland, Or. working!!!!!!!!!!! I know that is hard to believe, but it is true!!!!!!!

I had a few small jobs up here and then suddenly ended up with a major project....... Which will take some time to complete. I have been at it for a week and a half right now and probably have another week to go??????????

I will enclose pictures with each segment since trying to condense and write about this in one piece would not only be boring, but I am sure everyone would be sound asleep and wondering why their computers were on in the first place. But I promise to be a concise as possible and not ramble on to long---- Are we having fun yet??????? before I forget what I was supposed to be writing about???????

Well, the first part was to replace an old lattice roof, unfortunately no pictures of the before. My fault, but I do have after pictures to share. This is sort of like SHOW and TELL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am having so much fun!!!!!!! This actually started out as a replacement type thing, just replacing the wood that needed to be replaced and ended up being a whole replacement thing........

So I demo'ed all of the old wood and started replacing with new wood. The first picture shows the 2x4 stringers/trusses depending on what part of the country you are from. Sometimes it gets really hard trying to figure out what word to usde since it all means the same thing, but the accent goes on a different SYL- 'LABLE!!!!!!!!!!!!

So I built the frame and then I started putting 2x2's on to replace the old lattice work and after a few days the end result actually turned out better than I thought it would.

I must give credit where credit is due as I had a helper {her name is GABBY} see attached pictures. She is only 14, so don't go CHILD LABOR LAW on me as I only worked her from sun up to sundown and let her have 15 minutes for lunch, but she is a worker. I would pound nails with her any day. Of course we only used screws so that definitely made a difference.

A few days later that part of the project was completed and it was on to the planter. That will be the next segment of this story, but as an added bonus, you will get the next story in the submarine series also.

I bet that makes you all feel warm and fuzzy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
{;-)

A Short Postscript

When I was being held in captivity at the start of this wandering/wondering fiasco. I got a work release for a few short hours and did some wandering around town, which I can tell you was Danville, Ky. Don't ask how I ended up there as I am not really sure myself and I am not at all sure if there are enough bottles to try and get a message about that anyway!!!!!!!!!!!!

As I was wandering about the town I came upon what has to be the worlds largest Black Angus!!!!!!!!!!!! He or she????? I did not get that close as I did not feel the need to risk life and limb to provide a picture for this story..........but it was definitely has to be the biggest one I have seen!!!!!!! I have seen the worlds largergest HOLSTEIN COW and the worlds largest BUFFALO!!!!!!!!!!! The cow is in Wisconsin and the buffalo ins in North Dakota and this one ranks right up there with them.

I realize that this is comes under the heading of INTERESTING, BUT USELESS INFORMATION!!!
but I figured I would throw it in here anyway!!!!!!!!

I cannot take credit for the picture as my nephew took the picture so KUDOS to my nephew. So here is the picture and this is the end of this chapter.
{ ; - )

Weird Words, Messages, and CRUISER????

Well, here I am again???????

I stand before you to stand behind you to tell you something I know nothing about!!!!!!!!!!!! and if you haven't figured it out already, obviously I found the bottle, actually I found a bunch of bottles!!!!!!!!!!!!! But it seems as though I am required to consume the contents to receive the messages???????

I have been so busy working, UGH, WHO SAID WORKING??????? I guess that would be me since I am the one at the keyboard, but there is no music, only letters and this is not another day in paradise, but who is to say if that is a true statement and if it is not then what is the price of a cheeseburger in Key West???????????

So many questions and so few answers, but I am not through searching so the journey continues.............. as I said somewhere back in time, that I am where I will be for a while, enjoying the country and earning money for gas so I can get to the next place I am going to??????????? when I get whenever I get there.

OK!!!!!!!!! Enough of this FALL DER RALL, how is that for a word, I am not even sure how to spell, but I heard it once and figured this was a good time to use it!!!!!!!

I am up staying in the city where the famous TATTOO BOBBY used to reside, but he moved away and now lives in CAYO WEIRD...........

Whereas I am where he was doing something completely different....... I came to where I am for work and unfortunately I found a lot of it. I am in the middle of a construction project which is not really that hard, but definitely time consuming and so as I write about what I am doing, my EDITOR, "CRUISER," just strolled into my room for a consultation. {pictures attached} It seems that he got into one of the "BOTTLES" and was having a vision. I have no idea what type????? It could be TELE, MONO, H. D.??????? but I am quite sure it is self induced, {how's that for a couple of fancy words?????????}, so we sat and mumbled a few catchy things to each other, none of which made any sense and then he wandered off to check out the neighborhood and I went back to finishing this epistle of meaningless blather........ and so from the other side of the bottle I will end this for now, but there will be more to come and isn't that a scary thought!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


GOODNIGHT MRS. CALABASH, WHEREVER YOU ARE??????
{;-/

Smokeboat Suaree'

Well, here I am again, but unfortunately I have been working. OK, OK don't reach for the oxygen. It is only a temporary lapse. That is the bad news, the good news is that I found a bottle!!!!! and I am working on receiving a message, but in the mean time here is the first story in a chapter of my life that took place {WELL YOU CAN FIGURE IT OUT FROM THE DATE} anyway once a long time ago, a really, really, really, REALLY LONG TIME AGO I left town, not really unexpectedly, but that is another story, anyway I left town to join the Navy and see the world and then fast forward a few hundred lifetimes and this is the first story in that chapter of my life. There is more to come that is current, but this is hopefully enjoyable or at the very least not boring reading??????????

December 23, 2003

So I ran away from home again and ended up in
Cayo Waste-O, that would be Key West, I had to stop by Broken Chicken, that would be BOCA CHICA Naval Air Facility to get my pass so I could live on another ship and work on the submarine USS TROUT SS-566 down here. 

We have been called SQUID, SMOKEBOAT SAILORS, STINKBOAT SAILORS, PIGBOAT SAILORS, and a variety of other things in a number of languages, but no matter what we are called, we still are drawn back to this older than dirt boat so we can take a trip back in time and do something constructive at the same time.  Boys will be boys and some of the toys they like to play with just happen to be bigger than others.

So every day a few old ex-submarine sailors proceed to try and get themselves down a hatch (that was made to be used by someone much younger) in the top of this elongated sewer pipe and work in less than ideal conditions.  I seem to remember that the topside hatches were a lot bigger and the lower flats hatch holes were also bigger.  I cannot understand how they could have shrunk that much.

Then we all go to work in the confines of this iron maiden, get ourselves all covered in grease, rust, diesel fuel, hydraulic oil and various other disgusting chemicals and contaminants that we all took a blood oath never to do again when we removed ourselves from the active duty roster of this canoe club, aka U. S. Navy.

The good news is that we who belong to "THE BROTHERHOOD OF THE BRAINDEAD" have over the last almost 3 years actually managed to put the old lady back into some kind of shape where she can actually start to think about going to sea and not clogging up the harbor by sinking shortly after pulling away from the pier or having the superstructure disintegrate from the vibration of moving.

The guys who work on her actually look forward to coming down here, could that be considered "CHILDHOOD REGRESSION" or maybe as we reached a more mature age, we just completely lost our minds!!!!!!!!!!!! 

Well, I am no longer in Cayo Waste-o,(refer to first paragraph if you are not sure what that means), but do plan to return next year to work with who/whom ever (not sure of the politically correct grammar) decides to come down there and endure more of this controlled insanity. It is always fun because the first LIAR has no chance at all.

MERRY CHRISTMAS and HAPPY NEW YEAR.

I'LL BE BACKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!